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Top Ten Things to Remember to Maintain Your Sanity

  1. Take care of yourself physically. Find a way to release stress, move your body and clear out your mind. Yoga, exercise and meditation are great resources.
  2. “Fair” is a matter of perspective. What seems fair to you may not seem fair to your spouse or your children. No one is objectively right or wrong about what is or is not fair.
  3. Wishing things or people were not the way they are is a tremendous waste of time and energy. Instead, focus on changing what you can change.
  4. For things to change, first you must change. That means do something differently, even if it is only changing the way you relate to some piece of information.
  5. Your life and your divorce are different from your neighbors’, your friends’ and your brother’s life and divorce. What worked for them may or may not work for you. Take their well-meaning advice as information only.
  6. When you forgive someone else, you are helping yourself more than you are helping them. Harboring resentments is like taking poison while hoping that it will cause someone else to die.
  7. Acknowledge and work through your feelings. Your emotions are your body’s way of moving energy. The more you push emotions away, the more powerful and overwhelming they become.
  8. The only thing we can really count on is that things change. When things are the way you want them, be grateful, because they are going to change. When things are not the way you want them, be grateful that they will also change.
  9. Treat yourself kindly and accept kindness from others. Allow others to do for you what you would do for them if they needed it.
  10. Live up to your own standards. The right thing to do is the right thing to do, regardless of how anyone else is acting.